Vulnerability (Explicit language used)
“Vulnerability is the voice of your shadow” - Jen Hamilton
Dropping into a vulnerable state can be scary as fuck. To be truly seen, heard and felt can be the scariest thing to some, and to show a side that you want to keep hidden for fear of judgement can even bring about anxious thoughts.
As Brené Brown says:
‘vulnerability is not weakness, it’s our strongest measure of courage’.
It takes sooo much courage to drop into vulnerability with another person. For example, when getting to know a new lover, it could be a fear that they’ll perceive you differently to how you think you want them to perceive you, or it could be the part where seeing each other naked for the first time brings an incredible amount of vulnerability. Perhaps speaking to someone about your fears, or expressing deep feelings and emotions means sharing a part of your soul that feels daunting. In a partnership, learning to say “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours” can instil a sense of trust, a deeper connection, and a feeling of safety.
I’ve experienced a deep level of vulnerability in many workshops I’ve done, and the one that comes to mind that’s so prominent was when I did one of my coaches, Marina Perry's signature program - Dreambuilder, early last year, I discovered parts of myself that needed to be voiced in order to seek help and support. There’s nothing like bringing guilt and shame from the shadows of your soul to the light, and I’m telling you in takes a fucktonne of courage (that’s a really high measure, for those playing at home!)
A lot of people find speaking their truth comes with an incredible amount of vulnerability, especially if their truth means going against the grain, or the chance they’ll be out of rapport with a friend, partner, colleague or family member.
Here are a few tips to take away for those times when being vulnerable means stepping into the fear and doing it anyway...
- Have discernment - know when the right time is to be vulnerable. Do you feel supported, and do you have the courage to face whatever the outcome could be.
- Feel the fear and do it anyway. In my books, a lot of the time fear is just confused excitement - are you fearful of the outcome, or are you just excited to share it as you know its the key to unlock the part of you that needs to be freed?
- Show up whole and love all parts of yourself. This is a big one, and something I’m still mastering the art of. (Super grateful for Marina for bringing this to light too, as a sovereignty coach). If you love all parts, and all parts are welcome, then there’s actually no room to experience guilt or shame, only love and acceptance.
- Vulnerability is the voice of your shadow. By accepting all parts, you accept the shadow parts of you, in which the vulnerability is just the voice of. What happens when you shine a light on a shadow? It disappears.
- Showing yourself fully allows you to feel fully. Feel the parts that are uncomfortable, love those parts and find comfort in those parts.
- Stop taking shit seriously! Say ‘Fuck It’ and own your shit! Be confident in who you are, the choices you’ve made, the things you feel, the way you look, and the things you say. No one's perfect, and every single human on this planet has their own shit.
Want to start diving into the shadow parts of yourself, exploring your vulnerabilities or working on the confidence to speak your truth? Click here to learn more about 1 on 1 Human Potential Coaching with Jen Hamilton